Semper Fi

(Note: When you read stuff like this off the Internet from friends, you know Americans have finally figured out their national television networks are not exactly their friends.)

Katie Couric of CBS News, Charlie Gibson of ABC News, Brian Williams of NBC News, and a tough old U.S. Marine Sergeant were captured by terrorists while covering an Obama Nation’s Tour in Iraq.

The leader of the terrorists, trying to honor an America that had elected a Muslim per Libyan Leader Muammar Gadhafi confession,* told the four he'd grant each of them one last request before they were beheaded and dragged naked through the streets of a nearby town.

Katie Couric said, “Well, I'm a Southerner, so I'd like one last plate of fried chicken.'”

The leader nodded to an underling, who then left and returned with the fried chicken. Couric ate it all and said, “Now I can die content.”

Charlie Gibson said, “I live in New York , so I'd like to hear the song ‘Goodbye Manhattan,’ one last time.”

The terrorist's leader nodded to another terrorist, who had studied the Western world and knew of the music. He returned with some rag-tag musicians and played the song. Gibson was not amused but none the less satisfied.

Brian Williams said, “I'm still want people to believe that I was at least a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe, someday, someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.'”

The leader directed an aide to allow Williams to pull out a tape recorder from his jacket, dictating his comments. When finished he said, “Now I’m ready.”

The leader turned and said, “And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final wish?”

”Kick me in the ass,” said the Marine.

”What?” asked the leader, “Will you mock us in your last hour?”

”No, I'm NOT kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,” insisted the Marine again, this time angry.

So the leader shoved him into the yard and kicked him in the ass.

The Marine went sprawling, but then rolled to his knees. He pulled a 9mm pistol hidden inside his cammies and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he emptied his sidearm on six terrorists.  Then with a quick twist of a knife from his boot he slashed the throat of another nearby, catching a falling AK-47 and spraying the rest of the terrorists, as they ran away.

In a flash, it was over.

As the Marine was untying Couric, Gibson, and Williams, they asked him in anger, “Why didn't you just shoot all of them in the first place? Why did you ask him to kick you in the ass instead?”

”What?!” replied the Marine, “And have you three reporters tell Americans that I was the aggressor?”

* Source

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