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You know our good "friends" the French have always been there for us when times got tough. They never shied away from confronting evil where ever it existed, they always fought the good fight and...

Wait, that was us...

With that in mind, here is a tribute to those cheese eating surrender monkeys...enjoy. ________________________________________________________

The British army used to wear red coats in battle. This was incase one of them was shot, the enemy would not see the blood...That is why the French wore brown pants.

Q: Why are the streets of Paris lined with trees?
A: Because Germans like to march in the shade.

Q: What did France used to be called?
A: Germany…and then we saved them.

Q: How many Frenchman does it take to guard Paris?
A: Nobody knows, its never been tried.

Q: Where can you find 60 million French jokes?
A: In France.

Q: How many French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five: one to sit on his butt and watch and do nothing.
one to turn tail and run.
one to roll over.
one to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied sockets.
and one to pick up a phone and cry to the United States.

Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One, Chirac. He stands still and Europe revolves around him.

Q: Why did the French agree to build the channel tunnel?
A: To make it easier to escape to England when the Germans come again.

Q: How many generations does it take to learn ingratitude?
A: Trois

Q: Why did the French celebrate their World Cup championship so wildly?
A: It was the first time they won anything without the help of the U.S.

Q: How many gears does a French tank have?
A: 4; 3 reverse and 1 forward incase the enemy attacks from behind.

Q: Why do the French call their fighter jet the "Mirage"?
A: Because it's never seen in combat.

Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad?
A: A salesman.

Q. Why do we need France on our side against Saddam and Osama?  
A. So the French can show them how to surrender.

Q: What is the French battle flag?
A: It is three white fleur-de-lies on a white background.

Q: How did the French react to German reunification?
A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers.

Q: Why is it good to be French?
A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and US will win it for you.

Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the Nazi General von Studnitz as they entered?
A: “Table for one hundred thousand, sir?”

A French rifle for sale on ebay:
"It's never been fired and it's been dropped only once."

Q: How do you sink a French battleship?
A: Put it in water.

A French firing squad stands in a circle, then surrenders.

Q: What do French recruits learn in basic training?
A: How to surrender in 17 different languages.

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
~Mark Twain

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
~ General George S. Patton

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
~Norman Schwartzkopf

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
~ Marge Simpson

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
~ Regis Philbin

And the Stating the Obvious Award goes to…

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure"
~French President Jacques Chirac

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